Five Ways Spike Was Never A Lavery
by lurknomore
Summary: Zach & Kendall story. Five ways Spike may have been conceived and Ryan's not the father in any of them.


_Scenarios 2 and 4 incorporate some dialog from actual AMC episodes; the quote in Scenario 5 is Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet. _

**1. The Best Laid Plans - _Pine Valley, Summer 2005_**

This was not part of the plan. He was supposed to concede defeat, promise support, and then hightail it to Madden's clinic to ensure that Kendall would never carry a Lavery-Smythe baby.

But he found himself accepting her tentative invitation to dinner. And now they sat in the gathering darkness on her ugly sofa, washing down the caviar he'd retrieved from his condo (he told her it might be spoiled by the blackout) with a second bottle of Kendall's excellent Cabernet.

She hadn't asked how an unopened jar could spoil, and he didn't tell her.

Kendall was laughing at his story of how he'd won his first casino.

He hadn't seen her laugh like that in a long while – maybe even never, with him. Her eyes were dancing. There was a smear of caviar on her lip and he reached out to remove it with his thumb.

As he passed it over her mouth, Kendall bit his finger – and started laughing even harder at the expression of shock on Zach's face.

She stopped laughing when he kissed her.

By the time the lights came back on, they'd christened every surface in Kendall's living room and decamped to Zach's because he had a king sized bed.

Spike Slater was born nine months later.

As a bonus, Greenlee didn't speak to Kendall until her third trimester.

**2. New Beginnings - _Las Vegas, Spring, 2004_**

Kendall swore as the lock pick slipped again. It was taking her twice as long to break in as it would have taken Ryan – damn him for caving to Greenlee's pleas to stay home. But that was Greenlee: so focused on herself that she wouldn't let Ryan answer Erica's call for help. It was a damn good thing Ryan had told her about Erica's call.

So here she was in Vegas, alone. Breaking and entering, no less. She bore down with the lock pick one more time and sighed in relief when it clicked over. Kendall tentatively entered the room and was stunned by its disarray. She picked up a crumpled cocktail dress that was lying on the floor. Things must be worse than she thought – Erica would never leave silk lying around like that.

An Armani clad man stepped out of the inner room. Kendall sized him up – tall, built and hot. Leave it to Erica. Poor Jack. Kendall raised her chin and decided to brazen it out. "What the hell are you doing in here?"

The man didn't even blink. He must be an excellent poker player. His eyes traveled slowly up and down her body – and Kendall found herself blushing. Blushing! "I could ask you the same thing, sweetheart. You're about three inches too tall for that dress – and it's not your color."

Kendall raised her chin even further. "How do you know? Who the hell are you?"

"The name is Slater. Zach Slater. And this is my hotel."

Oh. Well, then, he probably knew this wasn't her room. Since the only defense is a good offense – or something like that – Kendall went on the attack. "How do I know that? What the hell have you done with my mother?"

He cocked his head slightly and continued to study her. Kendall caught herself raising a hand to fuss with her hair and brought it back down to her side. Dammit. "Look, honey, I'm not the one holding a lock-pick. I have a passkey. Ergo, I don't need to explain anything. And this suite belongs to Desiree DuBois, one of my showgirls – who never mentioned a daughter to me. So give me one good reason why I shouldn't turn you over to my security people and then the Vegas cops."

Kendall gulped. All she did NOT need was a stint in a Vegas jail. They were probably much less pleasant than Pine Valley's – and cranky as Derek usually was when he locked her up, he still treated her better than cops in a strange city were likely to. She looked back at Zach Slater and caught him staring at her legs again.

Hmmm. Maybe she could use that.

Zach watched the wheels turn in her head. He knew he shouldn't be enjoying this – after all, Kendall might have killed Michael. But she was everything Erica had said she was: beautiful, determined, and fierce in defense of her family.

And she was obviously very, very worried about Erica. His easily roused protective instincts and a strong attraction were warring with the tangle of guilt and love he felt for Michael.

They watched each other. Then Kendall made a decision. She took a couple of step towards Zach, took his hand in hers and raised their joined hands to the tie at the waist of her dress.

"One," she said firmly.

"Oh, hell," was Zach's last articulate thought.

**3. Household Accidents – _Pine Valley, Summer, 2005_**

Zach's cell phone was ringing.

This was not, in itself, an unusual thing. Zach was a busy man: his phone rang a lot. Even after midnight on a Wednesday summer night. What made it unusual was the name on the display: Kendall.

Since their unorthodox wedding six weeks earlier, he could count the number of times his wife had called him on one finger. Normally they communicated via assistant, or she just appeared at the casino ranting about something. So this was new.

He answered, a bit cautiously. "Slater."

"Where the hell are you?" she snapped. He smiled a little. That was the Kendall he knew and lo- er - married. "At my condo. Across the thing. Why? Where are you? It's late."

"I need you."

Zach ignored the frisson of pleasure he felt at her words and retreated back to their familiar banter. "That's so wife-like, snookums. I'm touched. I repeat: where are you?"

There was a moment of seething silence. "Home. You still have that key I gave you, right? Would you just - come over here?" There was a pause. "Please," she said grudgingly.

Wow. Please? Now he was almost worried. "I'll be right over. What's wrong?"

There were soft sounds of Kendall breathing and then an odd sloshing noise. "Please just come," she said plaintively.

Zach was across the courtyard in less than thirty seconds.

Her condo was dark when he opened the door. "Kendall?" he called out.

Silence. More sloshing noises. "I'm in here," she called back, sounding relieved.

OK. Zach wended his way towards the sounds of her voice, following a trail of Kendall's personal belongings: stilettos, a sleeveless cocktail dress, La Perla unmentionables… to what he presumed was her bathroom door. He stared at it a moment, baffled. "Uh, Kendall?"

More sloshing noises. "Would you just come in here, please?" she snapped. "Jeez."

Zach took a deep breath and entered, not sure what to expect.

Whatever it was, it wasn't what he got. What he got was a whole lot of wet, irritated, bubble covered Kendall. He stood there for a moment, absorbing the sight. She sure did have gorgeous skin. What he could see of it anyway. Which was a fair amount.

"Don't just stand there, you idiot. Get over here."

Zach's eyes traveled from the line of bubbles that seemed to be rapidly dissipating across Kendall's chest, up her long neck to meet a pair of furious green eyes. He coughed, raised his eyes ceiling ward and stayed by the door. "Not that I don't appreciate the invitation, sweetheart, but doesn't that sort of break our agree-"

"Very funny", she snapped. "Would you stop snarking and help me, please?

"Help you?"

"Yes! I'm stuck."

"You're what?"

"Stuck, dammit. My toe is stuck in the faucet."

Zach reluctantly tore his gaze from the ceiling and looked in the direction his wife was pointing, trying not to stare at everything in between.

Sure enough, her big toe was stuck in the faucet.

It was attached to a gorgeous leg. Zach made a sound somewhere between a strangled cough, laugh and groan.

"Don't laugh at me! Help me!"

"Trust me, Kendall, I'm not laughing. Not at you, anyway. What a predicament. And you called me? I'm touched. Really."

Kendall shifted a bit in the tub. The water sloshed and took more of the bubbles with it. Zach coughed again. "Can you please just do something, Zach?"

"OK. OK." Zach thought for a minute, resolutely pushing visions of creamy white skin and long slender legs away to focus on the issue at hand – er, foot. "Where's the soap?"

There was silence. Eventually Kendall sighed. "It's here in the tub. It… slipped."

Zach shut his eyes. Of course it was. OK. He could do this. He took a deep breath, opened his eyes again and rolled up his sleeve. Then a thought occurred.

"So how did you get to the phone?" he wanted to know. Sure, he was stalling. Somehow being so close to a wet, naked Kendall didn't seem like such a good idea. Or, more accurately, it seemed like way too good an idea. Kendall just sighed impatiently and pointed at the princess phone on the stand next to the tub. "Oh. Right. Why is there a phone in the bathroom?"

She sighed again and even rolled her eyes. "I'm a girl, Zach. We do lots of things in the bathroom. Pampering, gossiping… you know. Girl stuff."

Thoughts of Kendall doing girl stuff were just NOT what he needed right now. Kendall in the shower, Kendall smoothing lotion on her legs, Kendall applying perfume to…he mentally shook himself. "OK. Right. Girl stuff. Say no more." Please. "Where exactly is the soap?"

"I think it's down past my leg. I just can't reach it. And even if I could…"

"Yeah. Right. OK." Zach gingerly approached the tub and knelt down next to it. She really did have fantastic legs. And the bubble bath she was using smelled even more fantastic - Zach's mouth was literally watering. He wanted to taste her everywhere. Kendall was uncharacteristically quiet as he reached his arm into the tub. He noticed in his peripheral vision that there were even fewer bubbles, but he didn't trust himself to actually look in the water. He kept his eyes focused on her toe and slowly moved his hand along the bottom of the tub. He felt something - and brushed against Kendall's thigh.

Kendall made a sound that could only be called a yelp.

Zach reared back. "Sorry! Sorry." His hand was tingling now. Along with other parts of him. He tried again and this time successfully grabbed the soap.

Thank God. Part one of the great rescue was complete.

He lathered up with the soap and gently tried to apply the soap around the perimeter of Kendall's toe.

She whimpered. He pulled his hand away quickly. "I'm sorry, Kendall. Am I hurting you?"

"No," she said quietly, breathing a little faster.

Zach was breathing a little quickly himself. He had never considered himself a foot guy. But Kendall's feet were lovely – small, fine-boned, curving into an ankle and calf -

Great. Even Kendall's toes were turning him on. This could NOT be a good sign. He refocused on his task. He put the soap down and tugged very gently on her foot. Kendall gasped, and he could feel it give a bit.

"OK, I think we're making some progress, here," he said. "I don't want to hurt you, though." He turned his head to study her face while he ran his hand across her foot. "This doesn't hurt?"

She stared at him a little bit blankly. "No," she said softly. "It's fine."

They looked at each other for a few humming seconds while Zach's hand continued to stroke absently up and down her calf. Kendall eventually looked away, which broke him out of his trance. He picked up the soap again, and gently worked the soap around the toe as Kendall gave a quick intake of breath. He stopped for a moment, then continued. He gave her foot one more tug, and it pulled free.

Kendall sighed in relief. "Oh, thank you," she said.

"You're welcome," Zach said, keeping his focus on her foot. He ran his fingers over it to ensure that no permanent damage had been done. Nope. All fine.

Kendall emitted a sound somewhere between a choke and a giggle. "That tickles, Zach, " and jerked her foot out of his hands.

Zach let it go, keeping his attention focused on the edge of the tub. There were no bubbles at this end of the tub left; he could only imagine how few there were covering Kendall. He started to rise, intending to get out of there as quickly as possible.

He forgot about the soap on the floor.

The next thing he knew (and he never did figure out how it happened, and neither he nor Kendall were ever able to explain the physics of it to Spike or anyone else), he was soaking wet and on top of a very surprised Kendall. Who felt remarkably good in his arms. And whose lips were less than a centimeter away.

Stunned green eyes met stunned hazel for several charged seconds. Zach felt like he was on the edge of a precipice.

Zach closed his eyes, touched his lips to hers, and fell the rest of the way.

**4. Adrenaline -_ Pine Valley, October, 2004_**

Zach said, "Hey! Mr. Cramer, no more games, not now, not here, not ever. You killed an innocent child, and you went on with your life. Now, if there's any justice, you will die the way you lived. And if you're not out of my office in 10 seconds, I will deliver that justice myself."

Kramer continued to bluster. "You guys are lunatics -"

Zach interrupted. " Six seconds."

Cramer left.

Zach stood there, attempting to regain his composure. Aware of Kendall on his right, he said, "Can I get you anything? You want a glass of water or something?"

Kendall said, "No, I'm -- I'm fine, thank you."

She was still staring at him, her expression hard to decipher."I hope that didn't upset you too much."

Kendall almost smiled. "No, no, not at all. Actually, now I have a concept of what it looks like when I go psycho. Only you get very scary, and quiet, and lethal."

Zach didn't move, trying to get himself back under control. She sounded like she approved of his behavior. He should probably go back behind his desk. There was still way too much adrenaline flowing through him. But Kendall smelled distractingly good so he stayed where he was, looking down into her upturned face.

"Bianca's a good, kind woman who loved her child very much. And you were right. Miranda should still be here with her mom and her family. So I thought that Mr. Cramer needed a reminder that Miranda's still gone, and that he's still responsible. Nothing's going to change that."

Kendall's smile grew. "Thank you." Everyone else was taking their cue from Bianca and simply grieving for Miranda. Kendall was too, of course: but she wanted more. She wanted someone – anyone, really – to pay for Bianca's pain. Zach was the first person that seemed to feel the same way. It didn't occur to her to ask why it mattered so much to him. That would come later. She took another step towards him and brushed her lips fleetingly across his cheek. "I mean it, Zach. Thank you."

She started to step away, her lips tingling, only to find herself hauled against Zach's chest and being thoroughly kissed.

Even as he was kissing her, Zach knew this was a bad idea. Not his first, and probably not his last, especially when it came to Kendall. But the feel of her lips on his cheek had been like setting a spark to tinder. All the anger he'd managed to control with Cramer morphed with astonishing speed into something entirely different and virtually uncontrollable. He had to have her now. All he cared about was the way she tasted and felt in his arms.

And the way she kissed him back. He softened his grip on her, moving his hands restlessly over her back and slipping them under her jacket. Her small hands were making equally quick work of his jacket and the buttons of his shirt. Zach started doing rapid calculations in his head –the sofa was further away, but he'd have to take his hands off her to clear enough room on his desk, and he didn't want either one of them to have long enough to second guess what they were doing because it felt so damn good…

Kendall couldn't think; all she could do was feel. And all she wanted was more. So she pulled Zach on to the floor. Which solved Zach's problem nicely.

Neither one of them heard Edie open the door, gasp, close it hurriedly and return to her desk. Edie picked up the phone. "Sorry, Mr. Ramsey. Mr. Slater and Miss Hart are going to be occupied for the foreseeable future. I'll... let them know you were delayed."

**5. Misery Loves Company -_ Pine Valley, September, 2004_**

Zach sat in the bar at the Valley Inn, morosely contemplating his drink. The inn really did have a lousy scotch selection. Next time he met Fargate for dinner, he was having her driven to the casino. At least the booze was better. And he'd be unlikely to run into Edmund and Maria celebrating their anniversary. He knew she wanted Edmund and not him; he didn't need the evidence of her choice as a side dish to the Valley Inn's mediocre cuisine.

Someone slipped on the stool next to him. He ignored them until he realized their perfume was familiar. "Kendall, what are you doing here? I thought stalking Mr. and Mrs. Lavery was taking up all your time – and they're still in the dining room."

Kendall finished ordering her cosmopolitan and then turned to him. "You were so busy staring at Maria I'm surprised you noticed Ryan and Greenlee," she retorted. "Myrtle could barely get your attention."

She really was too observant for her own good. Zach raised his glass to her in a silent toast and finished the last swallow. He waved his glass at the bartender who dutifully brought him another round with Kendall's drink.

Zach watched Kendall as he sipped. The waves of misery rolling off her were almost tangible. She'd been with Bianca, smiling naturally for the first time in weeks – and then Ryan and Greenlee had appeared. Her smiles had grown forced: and over the course of her meal, she'd sparkled more and more artificially; eaten less and drank more. Zach had to admire her tenacity, even if he would never understand what drew her to that smug overbearing fool in the first place.

Of course, he wasn't in any position to question someone's choices. He was still pining for a woman who'd told him repeatedly that she loved her husband and was committed to her family. And he knew she was telling him the truth. When she learned her true identity, she had never looked for Zach. She left him in her past, and tried to rebuild her future. At least Maria was a decent human being; he had his doubts about Lavery.

It bothered him that he could see the parallels, though: Zach Slater and Kendall Hart, both fools for love, on the outside looking in.

They drank, silently. After a while, Zach looked at her. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," said Kendall. She was feeling a little fuzzy, and too depressed about Ryan to move. And talking to Zach was probably better than listening to the voices in her own mind. "There's no guarantee I'll answer, though."

"Fair enough. Lavery's broken your heart what –Four times? Five?"

"Three," she said shortly. "Why?"

"That's my question," he said pleasantly, twirling the scotch in his glass and studying her with his customary unreadable stare. "Why? Why do you let him do this to you?"

Kendall flicked a glance at him and shrugged. "Gee, Zach, I don't know. Maybe because I love him?"

"But why?" he persisted. "He's a colossal bore; he's self righteous, and he thinks he's better than everyone else – including you. St. Ryan of the Lavery, forgiver of sins, and arbiter of all that's good. The guy can match you and me con for con, transgression for transgression – and you let him treat you like dirt under his shoe. Why?"

Kendall turned to look at him. "Zach, I think that may be the most I've ever heard you say that wasn't about the evils of being a Cambias. Are you drunk?"

He thought about that for a second. No, he wasn't drunk. Morose, mildly tipsy, and fascinated by his newly discovered commonality with Kendall, yes. Drunk? No.  
"No. Are you? And you didn't answer my question."

"I must be," she muttered, tossing back the rest of her Cosmo. "I'm having a conversation with you." He didn't say anything, just watched her, waiting for an answer. Kendall turned his question over in her mind. Why Ryan? She never asked that. All she knew was that she'd never been able to give up on someone she loved and who she wanted to love her back. Not Erica, not Bianca, and now, not Ryan. God, she was pathetic. She shifted in her seat. "I don't want to answer the question, OK? Because I honestly don't know anymore."

He thought she was lying, but let it go. "OK," he said equably. "Want another drink?"

Kendall looked at him a little owlishly. "Why are you being nice to me?"

"Do you always answer questions with questions?"

"No. Can I have a scotch?"

"Yes." Zach nodded to the bartender, who dutifully poured a measure into a new glass and placed it in front of Kendall. "And that was another question."

Kendall swirled her glass on the bar, watching the amber liquid make patterns against the glass. "So it was. But you never answered mine, either."

"Good point," he said. "In the interest of fairness, I'll answer. I'm being nice to you because I realized we have more in common than I originally thought."

Kendall shifted her eyes from her glass to Zach's face. "What's that supposed to mean?"she asked, a little suspiciously.

Zach smiled a little wryly. "'Tut, man, one fire burns out another's burning/One pain is lessened by another's anguish.'"

Kendall eyed him with disfavor and started to rise. "If you're going to quote poetry at me, I'm out. I've had too much to drink to think that clearly."

Zach stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm. "No more poetry, I promise. Stay."

Kendall sank slowly back on her barstool. Zach had really big hands. And the one on her arm felt really nice. She couldn't decide if she wanted him to leave it there or never touch her again. "OK. You still owe me an answer, though."

Zach slowly moved his hand away and returned to nursing his drink. He really had to stop touching Kendall – it always stuck with him for hours afterwards. Now it seemed that alcohol exacerbated the effect. "It's simple, Kendall. Misery loves company."

She mulled that over for a moment. "So you're being nice to me because of Ryan? Or Maria?"

"Neither. Both. But now it's my turn to ask a question."

Kendall wished she hadn't had that scotch. She felt way too fuzzy to be trying to keep up with Zach. "Are we playing a game? Because I thought this was a conversation, not a game."

"Can't it be both? You and I, Kendall, we both like games."

She turned to face him again. "I don't like them when I don't know the rules – and I never know the rules with you."

Zach looked at her. She had her hair up in one of those complicated twists. A couple of strands had come loose and were falling into her eyes. Without thinking, Zach reached out and tucked them behind her ear. The soft curve of her cheek hypnotized him, and he started tracing it gently with his fingers. She really did have marvelous skin: satiny soft, cream colored, and now tinged softly pink with a rising blush. He wondered how low the flush went.

Kendall sat very still. "Uh, Zach? What are you doing?"

"I don't know," said Zach, softly. He started tracing his fingers down her throat, towards the strap of her dress. "I think I'm changing the rules."

"Huh," said Kendall, stupidly. She couldn't focus on much of anything besides how good his fingers felt on her skin. "Are we still playing?"

"New game," said Zach, as he gestured for the check with his free hand. "It's called 'Forget'. I think we'll both like it."

Kendall smiled.


End file.
